Napkins are meant to keep us clean, but the process of staying properly mess-free while eating actually requires a rather gentle touch. It might surprise you to learn that proper fine dining etiquette dictates that you keep your napkin on your lap when it is not being used — and when you do reach for it, simply blot at the targeted area with a small corner of your linen. In fact, these cloths should only really be used for dabbing away small amounts of excess food or moisture from your hands and face. Anything larger, and you’ll transfer the mess from your face to your outfit once it is placed back onto your lap.
To properly use a large cloth napkin, place it half folded on your lap with the open side facing you. This way, you can easily reach for the inside of the linen to blot and then re-fold neatly onto your lap once done. This maneuver will also hide any discoloration or stain you may have wiped onto the cloth, and keep your clothes from coming into contact with the contents of your used napkin.
It is important to remember that cloth table napkins are not meant for cleaning up big messes. Of course, if you’re eating extra messy foods like ribs or burgers and are given a stack of paper napkins, feel free to wipe away and crumple as needed. But at a higher end, fine dining establishment, you’ll want to keep those fancy linens as clean as possible — and maybe avoid the finger foods, just to be safe.
More napkin etiquette rules to brush up on while fine dining
It can be tricky to navigate proper napkin etiquette while out at a fancy restaurant. There are certain dos and don’ts for where your napkin resides and what kinds of messes it can handle. Spills are inevitable, even at a fine dining establishment, but you obviously shouldn’t use the napkin from your lap to wipe them up yourself. Instead, gently drape your napkin over the spill and then ask your waiter for assistance cleaning it up. You will swiftly receive a new, clean napkin, and the spill will be properly addressed.
If you have a major stain on your person that needs more attention than a few blots with your napkin, it’s best to address it in the restroom rather than at the table. And when you leave the table, place your napkin on the seat or arm of your chair, soiled side up. This is an indicator to servers and your fellow diners alike that you will return shortly, without placing your dirty napkin on the table around other people’s food.
Once you have finished eating, avoid placing food scraps in your napkin to hide any evidence that you didn’t finish all of your food. Leaving unwanted or unfinished parts of your meal on your plate isn’t nearly as offensive as leaving a bigger mess for those who clean the linens each night to find. If there is still food on your plate once you’re done, lightly fold the napkin and leave it to the left side of your place setting.
